I Refuse to Give this Journal a Title


Writer's Block: Seeing stars
Which character from any film, television show, or book would you most like to take on a date and why?

Pam from the Office. She's adorable and she's got a great personality.

I'm not a poet, If I am I don't know it...
Haikus, Limericks, and Free Verse stuff

I'm unproductive
Sitting here doing nothing
What are I good for?


I have to get out of this town.
It's the reason I always frown.
There's nothing exciting,
Or even enlight-ning,
Save me before I drown


Fold hot dog ways.
Bring legs to top of jeans.
Fold legs back down.
Flip like a pizza,
Pinching the "brick."
Repeat until shift ends.
This job is shit.


Nothing is ever as easy as you think.
It's just a challenge at the gym to get a drink.
I picked this path because
I thought I'd get a handful of out a pinch

But here a pinch is a handful
And a handful is a mound
It's quite hard to write stories
About characters unfound


And now a brief guitar solo:

Wahhh Wahhhh Wow wow wah wah wahhh wahhhhhhh

-5~~~~ 8~~~~~--------------------------------------------------------


A brain transmission Ab Intra

RLS mode deployed
Fingers in blog mode, 50 WPM speed
Brain only at 80% full power
Remind cerebellum that the 10% usage is a myth
Focus eye sockets at screen.
Using skills from: 1st-12th grade English, 9th grade keyboarding, 3rd grade phonics, 9th-15th grade computer usage

Memo to sinistral hand: check on strange epidermis occurrence on dexterous middle digit, Give it another squeeze, the White Blood Cell team needs backup.


"When I was a child, I was afraid of the dentist. He was a pedophile." - Jimmy Carr

Thoughts for the week...
Who ever invented "the customer is always right" obviously never worked in retail him/herself.

I work at American Eagle. A woman walked in and asked "is this Hollister?"

Anal sex...now that's a pain in the butt.

I saw a sign on a building that said, "Monmouth County Association for the Blind." I thought, "Who's the sign for??"

Shoplifters piss me off. Do you have to pick up a Kmart just to show off?

But seriously, shoplifters piss me off.  In retail, I have to do this:

Me: Hey, how are you doing today?
Shoplifter: Fine.
Me: What were you looking for today?
Shoplifter: Nothing, just looking.
Me: Ok, if you need anything let me know.

If I were in charge, it would go something like this:

Me: Hey how are you?
Shoplifter: Fine.
Me: I bet. Do you need help?
Shoplifter: Nothing, just looking.
Me: For what?  A top without a sensor on it?
Shoplifter:  Excuse me?
Me: You've been going through each thing in three separate stacks twice. The sizes aren't going to change.
Shoplifter: That's not true.
Me: And you're holding an XXL dress when you're 5' 5".
Shoplifter: How rude of you! It's for my dad!
Me: So your dad wears dresses?
Shoplifter: I...uh...
Me: That's what I thought.
Shoplifter: This is unprofessional. I want to speak to your manager!
Me: I am the manager. Now get the fuck out of my store.
Shoplifter: What??
Me: You heard me. Drop all merchandise and leave now and don't come back.
Shoplifter: I'm calling corporate!
Me: I'm the owner of this place too. You're banned from coming in here. If I see you in here again, I'm going to press charges and call the cops.

Fucking bitch douchebags.

Let's set this off with a bang.
Good morning, LJ. It's 1:44 AM on June 28th as I begin this post.

First off,  a one liner:

Sticks and stones may break your bones...but if you really want to get the job done, use a club.

Thanks to Jimmy Carr for the inspiration to write one liners.

I'll continue my trend of lists from a few posts back:

Top Ten Eight Worse Things to tell your Boss for Why You're Late to Work

8.  I'm hungover as fuck (proceed to vomit on his desk)

7. My dog ate it.  I mean, my Internet crashed. I mean...shit.

6. The 6 am edition of Sportscenter was so good that I just had to watch it two more times.

5. Actually, if you go by the GMT time zone, I'm an hour early.

4. You would not BELIEVE what happened at Dunkin Donuts.  They were out of French Krullers!  I had to wait 45 minutes for the next batch!

3.  What? I was here an hour extra last night. It carries over to today.

2. The cops stopped me. Yeah I got a ticket for speeding, but at least they didn't find the body in the trunk.

1.  Sorry, but your wife wanted another go in the sack.

Things that currently annoy me
  • anyone under 13 with a Facebook. Fuck that, anyone under 16 with a Facebook. I waited and got mine when I was sent my college .edu email. Now anyone can have one? Let alone little teenyboppers? Punk guys thinking they're hot shit and girls posting pictures in their bikinis and then wondering why 40 year old perverts are trying to friend them and why people think they're sluts?
  • Anyone who says "I love you" when they haven't even finished puberty. Yeah, if you know what love is at age 13, then you better be aging like a dog. Stupid kids.
  • Kids in general annoy me now that I've read the first two. Some are good, don't get me wrong.  But many of them are whiny snotty little shits who exist probably because Daddy was too lazy to run to the pharmacy and buy condoms.  They think they're untouchable. Probably because their parents don't discipline them. I may be revealing my age with this, but parent's parents had it right. You do something wrong, you get the shit smacked out of you. It only needs to happen once. A kid will easily learn at a young age once they get their ass paddled, they won't do that again.
Final thoughts of the night

Blink 182 is back. Should've bought my ticket earlier. I didn't think lawn seats could sell out...

Paramore played at the local place recently. Should've bought a ticket to that...

I just spent $50 on videogames, $50 on guitar strings and straps, and plan to get some custom work done to my Fender Telecaster.  Now I realized why I didn't buy tickets to Paramore.
I saw Audrey Hephburn on television for the first time. Wow, she is smoking hot! I've seen pics but you gotta watch a movie.

Diane Lane is still looking good.

Until next time, which should be soon. If you like what you've read or think someone else would enjoy it, then send my link to them!


Currently listening to - Street Sweeper Social Club
Currently reading - Why We Suck
Currently scratching - neck
Currently on - Facebook, Livejournal, Codiene

Click here

Fuck it.
I really suck at this blogging thing. I post about once every five to six months.

And I call myself a writer...

Well fuck it. I'm putting my foot down and starting over.

No more song titles for posts.

I'm just going to log on and type whatever comes out.

Starting now.


but in a new post.

I don't mind stealing bread...
(Sigh) Wow I'm so lazy.

Right now I have this great idea for a screenplay in my head.  I have the program to write it, and more ideas will come from it when I start writing it.

But unfortunately, I don't feel like writing it.

I don't feel like putting it down on paper (or in this case, typing it out).

Lately I feel like I don't want to do anything. I'm not depressed, but feeling like a lump.  Hell, I envy the dog. All she does is lay around. I want that gig.

Well right now I'm copying Dispatch and State Radio to my sisters flash drive.

If anyone has any words of encouragement or motivational stuff, throw them my way.

Give me something you can't understand...
I enjoy lists. Whether Letterman's, or mine for Santa, they're usually funny.  So my new thing...making random lists. Hopefully you'll find them entertaining

Top Ten Eight Things to Do When You're Tired But Don't Want to Go to Bed

8. Homework   "Yeah, I've got that paper due tomorrow.  6 pages double spaced.  The topic?  No idea. Don't worry, I've got six hours, thats a page an hour.  I'm starting right after I watch Return of the King."

7.  Watch late night tv.  "What's on?  What the hell, I've seen this episode of Seinfeld six times this month already.  Yes, you don't want to be a pirate Jerry, I heard you. Shut up. Goddamnit, I wish I had Cinemax."

6.  Post an entry on LiveJournal.  It's what I'm doing now.

5.  Play video games.  Maybe this time you'll finally 5 star Raining Blood on Expert...

4.  Eat.  Week old leftover Chinese food never tasted so good.

3.  Become inspired.  It happens. Sometimes people have the greatest ideas when they least expect it.  Wish that would happen to me when I'm not in the shower or trying to please missy.

2.  Facebook.  "Oooooh, someone reviewed me for dating! I'll look at that after I finish this chain note, stalk that cute girl in my science class, and send 20 Bumper stickers!"

1.  Surf Wikipedia. Watch as you can start by reading up on Abercrombie and Fitch, then six clicks later, be reading the roster of the 1998 France national soccer team

If anything could ever be this good again...
Wow, I actually followed through with what I said from last entry! Go me...let's see how long this lasts.

Previously on the last post of my blog...

It seems that most of the concerts I go to, I seem to walk out with something and not paying for it.  No, I'm not stealing t-shirts from the merch booth, I've been really lucky to get some pretty cool memorabilia and to meet some awesome musicians.

The first thing I can remember is going to The Chance in Poughkeepsie, NY.  My friend and I went to see State Radio, a band formed by former member of Dispatch Chad Urmston.  Because SR was opening for Michael Franti, we got right up to the barrier.  As far as we know, we were the only ones to know all of the words to the songs.  After their set ended, Chad came out to pack up his effects board.  He looked up and smiled at my friend and I.  We grinned back, and I spotted a styrofoam plate on the ground and pointed at it.  Chad handed it to me, and I smiled in awe of what was the setlist.  It's sitting on my desk right now.

Next summer I went to see The Fray at PNC in Holmdel, NJ.  Mae opened for them, and I got a chance to meet them after.  Honestly, I couldn't give an opinion of their music because the sound at the show was a bit off and I couldn't hear the vocals.  But they were a bunch of real nice guys and I got an autographed poster.  That's currently on my dresser.

I saw State Radio again and this time got to meet Chad.  He remembered my friend and I and he signed a ticket for me.  That is probably somewhere in my box of college stuff I haven't unpacked.

Comedian Rob Paravonian came to my school and I got to meet him and he a flyer that I had ripped off the school activities bulletin board.  If you don't know him, he's a comedian/singer/songwriter.  Just type in "Pachibel Rant" on YouTube for his hilarious point of view of the Canon in D.  If you're too lazy to do that, then go to http://www.robprocks.com

Side note:  Damnit, how do you do links? I clicked on the button and the link highlighted, but it didn't work! What the hell?

UPDATE: figured out one way to do links.

Umm...geez I'm starting to forget....ok, fast forward to Saturday when I saw Paramore (refer to the last post for more info).  After rushing through the crowd during the encore, bassist Jeremy Davis threw his waterbottle into the crowd, which I caught...

wait, i think I told you about this in the last post. Let me check.

(opens new Firefox window)

Okay, yeah I did.  Well anyway, that's somewhere in my car.

This summer I also saw Braddigan and Pete Francis.  After the show, I talked with Pete's guitarist Boo.  We chatted about guitars and recommended the Fender Telecaster, which I recently purchased.  I also talked with Braddigan briefly.  He signed his CD for me and left a Bible verse for me to read.  I think I'll talk about that in another post.

Finally, Barefoot Truth came to my school.  My friend Chris knows them and is a web page editor for them so he mentioned me to them.  I got to hang out with those guys and I had a great time.  Oh, and an autographed copy of their first CD, which is in my car as well.

The great thing is that all of these guys are nice.  None of them have let their fame and fortune go to their head.  They were all down to earth, enjoyed talking with fans, and were nice enough to write their name in cursive on a piece of paper for me.  Hayley Williams of Paramore even talked about it in her most recent post.  Go there to read that, she seems like a really wonderful person and a good writer.
http://paramoreband.livejournal.com or http://www.paramore.net

Well, so far so good with this blogging more than once every 14 and a half weeks.

No cliffhanger for this one...but I do have an idea. 

Easier said than done...
Why do I suck at this keeping a blog?  I have many thoughts, but they just never make it onto this.  Whether me being busy, forgetting the thoughts, procrastination, or just plain laziness, I don't know.  Whoever is reading this (there's not very many of you, I'm sure), badger me with comments, reminding me to write. If I don't, yell at me some more.

Anyway, I went to one of the Final Riot! shows.  I'll go band by band with my opinion.

Paper Route came on at 7. Sporting two synthesizers, they had an electronic feel to them.  I downloaded one of their LP's and wasn't too impressed, but they sounded awesome.  The drummer was intense, the bass and toms vibrated the whole place.  Definitely check them out.

Phantom Planet appeared at 8 or so.  Again, expectations were low, the only song I knew by them was "California," which everyone knew from the O.C. (a show that held my interest for one episode).  Turns out that I know two of their songs. The first one I hear at work every day on the music DVD that plays.  That was pretty good.  The lead singer Alex puts on a great show, he even crowd surfed and to most of the girls' delight, took his shirt off.  Maybe I should give them a second chance.

Jack's Mannequin hit around 9ish.  I've seen them before, and Andrew McMahon knows how to put on a great show.  He's a cancer survivor, so I threw one of my silicon bracelets on the stage for him that I got at Relay for Life.  Unfortunately he didn't see it, most likely because he was trashed.  It amazes me that he can play that good when he's that drunk.

And finally, Paramore erupted with a bang at 9:45.  They were great, I ended up giving up my spot in the crowd 6 feet from the stage because one of my friends hurt her leg.  I spent the rest of the time in the bleachers, but when they came back out to play "Misery Business" for their encore, I ran through the crowd to the front and went nuts.  Not only did Hayley spit water into my open mouth (not specifically at me, she got everyone within the splash zone) I even was able to catch Jeremy's water bottle that he threw into the crowd.

I walked out of the place at 12 am with my shirt soaked with sweat, my legs aching, my ears ringing, and my keys missing.  I had to be at work in 13 hours and I had to eat dinner and drive three friends home.

Not a bad night.

And speaking of me taking home Jeremy's water bottle...next time, my collection of stuff and stories from concerts I've been to.  Stay tuned kids.

Maybe that's how I can get myself to write more often, by coming up with a topic at the end of the previous blog post.

Cliffhangers work, don't they? Just like in the.....

Take me home...
Sophomore year is ending. Also, I've been busy doing work.  I've been procrastinating so much now that at the end of the semest


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